The subject of Apologies always seems to come with a lot of baggage. I think mostly because it reminds us humans of things we have personally messed up on or it reminds us of those who have wronged us. Hard subject I know which is why I am bringing it up Today!!!
Let’s start here: If we can remember that our response to others is important, then and only then we will realize that trust and forgiveness go hand-in-hand when it comes to this subject!.
As humans we will always be affected by the actions of others. If something weird happens during an interaction, one hopes that we all too often will receive an apology, well hopefully!
But here is the key to this whole subject… What is your response when that happens? Do you say to the other person… “It’s alright,” or “It’s okay,” or “I understand”? I know for one I do this all the time. But here’s the kicker… by giving these particular responses you are allowing and giving permission for the bad behavior that happened in the first place to happen again. Not cool.
If you learn to change your response to say something like “thank you,” or “I accept your apology,” you are still acknowledging the persona and their apology but you are then giving yourself time to sit with your feelings and confront them instead of ignoring them. Which is better in the long run!
Here is a question for you. So you feel that it is easier to brush off how you really feel about a bad situation than to express your discomfort or “not Ok witness” (yep I made that up) with something that happened to you that ended up being followed by an apology?
Well I am here to tell you that even though this may at first seem like the right thing to do it is not. Reality is then you are contributing to the motion by not stopping the bad pattern of behavior; all because you are not being honest and open with the other person. Instead this behavior allows the cycle of letting them overstep your emotional boundaries, time and time again. Here is a NEWS FLASH by brushing things off you are plying the VICTIM!!!
Here is the EMPOWERING way to go – acknowledge the other person that you accept their comments for forgiveness. The next step is the hard part. You must tell the other person gently and with love your true concerns about what happened. By doing this you will both become more empowered and able to move forward!!!
Your voice is important for yourself and for others too! Trust and forgiveness go hand in hand and when you do the above honesty and truth will be way more EMPOWERING in the end!
Peace and Happiness
