I was born 67′ (shh) and I grew up in the San Fernando Valley in SoCal. I was adopted and lived a great life (for the most part). I was always told I would be the wife and a mother and my brother well… the millionaire he would obviously become. Now I am not saying this to put anyone down, this was the generation and the times of when I grew up. Nothing more than that! Truth be told this was always difficult for me because I agree I wanted to be a mother, but I wanted to be a Hippie when I grew up…. I wanted to build a place where people could find themselves again… I wanted to love and be loved but with the person of my choosing… I wanted to just be ME….
Then there was that one, most defining aha moment in my life… I remember the day, I was around 12, it was a Friday night, in fact and my grandmother (the Famous Aunt Pearl) pulled me aside, maybe because she saw me struggling or maybe because she knew… because she was just that good (which is probably the case)… but she looked me straight in the eyes and told me not to listen to others, that I could be anything I wanted, if I just tried, I was to always be honest, live my truth and put in a lot of work… WOW did you hear that…. Well I did at 12 and from that day forward I did just that.
So of course, in trying to find my way I worked all sorts of self-starting jobs, starting very early in life. I was a nanny, and dog trainer, a want to be cowboy, a want to be horse trainer, I was even a profession clown for kid’s parties for a while… yep its true – Windy the Clown. I did all of this before I even graduated High School btw.
But then the truth or reality set in. I graduated from High School just by the skin of my teeth, and had to beg to get into college… Literally beg and yes, I got in. Society, my parents and well everyone in those days ingrained in my head if I did not go to and graduate from college would never amount to anything. So, I went, but I figured out early on, well after a bout of drinking and telling Psych professors that they were nuts if they wanted to medicate children to behave (yep I did that in my first class on my first day of college) that the college life and living in the box was just not for me!
So, the next few years were all trial and error. I worked as a secretary, a telemarketer, an office manager and volunteer, I was even unemployed for a while, I even delivered newspapers.
It was in my early 20s I decided that the one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be a mom. So, I took the traditional route got married and poof in under 6 years, I had 2 miscarriages (devastating) and then I gave birth to 3 wonderful kids, I moved in for “2 weeks with my mom” to figure things out, I got divorced, and yep your guessed it I was then officially a mother of 3 kids under 5 to the best of my ability without any help from anyone, not a clue of what to do and not a penny to my name.
I must say here that the decision to parenting alone was one I made fully aware of the consequences btw, to ensure my kids stayed safe on many levels but mostly I did not want them hurt by bringing anyone else into my life that could possible leave and hurt them in the process. As a result of these actions I also took over as a watchful eye over my mother and father (living in 2 different locations).
It was during this time of my life I began to remember that I could also be an Entrepreneur… (well really, I had to do something from home, so I did not have to put my kids in daycare) So, I set out and started a business form home and off I went content, money generating and happy go lucky human. Or was I?
Several years later when my kids were all in their teens, I was lucky enough to be invited to an adult retreat center for weight loss. Now I want to be very clear here I did not know that’s where I was going, I just thought I was helping a friend by going and supporting her. It never dawned on me even though I was at my heaviest 315 lbs that I needed to change. I built a barrier to hide from those things I did not want to be recognized for and a wall for those things I wanted to hide from and that was my weight! 
Luckily and incredibly something changed inside of me that week:
- Was it that reality hit me? (I could not actually walk far or with as much confidence as I thought I could)
- Was it that I realized I really was not doing anything in alignment with my true purpose?
- Was it that I was just plain out of shape, unhealthy, miserable (even though I had money), and alone….
My life changed that week, I remember the exact defining moment in fact. I was so tired the first day I was at the “adult retreat” that an employee had to get down and tie my shoe, and let me be very clear here – someone could have offered my 1 million dollars for me to tie my own shoe and I would not have been able to do it.
Thankfully, in the most mortifying and defining moment of my adult life, an employee of the retreat center looked up and said “don’t worry about it, it happens all the time, we all need a little help every once in a while” – Well folks that moment changed my life for the better and I thank that employee who I now consider to be one of my greatest friends, to this day!
Of course then came the self-put downs – “How the hell did I let myself get here”, “Why have I been ignoring myself all this time”, “Who am I hiding from and then who am I kidding – I am hiding from myself” and so on…
So, I spent the next 8 months training to go and hike the john Muir Trail a 211-mile hike in the High Sierras (that I had always wanted to do) and finding myself through fitness, family, love, and self-care. I knew I had a hard road ahead of me, I stopped everything I had built over the past 18 years and just dove in headfirst. 
The good that came out of this adventure – I learned that no matter how bad things got I knew there was a plan in place and I was reminded very quickly there is always a solution and that solution if coming from the point of view of staying on my true purpose in life, became the best thing for my growth and happiness which reflected on my family and friends as I was just more fun, reliable and healthy to be around.
It was at this time I started talking to people about what I was learning, what I was doing and more importantly how I was feeling and how others were inspired enough to put their own plans into action!
I went on to complete 180 miles of the John Muir trail (with my son and the friend who tied my shoe), I have completed many other hikes, I have lost over 115 pounds, I have become a Master Certified Life Coach, a Certified Happiness Coach, a Business Coach, a Personal Weight Loss Coach, a blogger, a Hiking Guide, a backpacking guide, a Published Author, a Public Speaker, an artist, a Retreat Coordinator and most importantly a human who for the most part is experiencing life via a true purpose and finding more Happiness every day!
Has there been trials and tribulations during all of this? Of course, but the good news is it makes me real and shows I have been there, and I can share my experiences that much louder to help others in need!
Through my adventures, training and struggle with myself and others I know that people are more capable of achieving their goals, dreams,, true purpose and Happiness than they give themselves credit for, and I use all my training including my own life experiences as examples of what IS POSSIBLE. I continue to push myself and I ask my clients to do the same!
Wendy Shugar
Please see the Speaking Information tab on my web site