In recent years, I have noticed a troubling trend has emerged in our society, one that can be only described as a “social pandemic.” This phenomenon is marked by an increasing tendency to judge others harshly, especially those who are just starting out on new ventures or trying something for the first time. It’s a sad reality that many face criticism and discouragement at the very moment they need support and encouragement the most. I felt compelled to write this blog because I see this more and more and my goal aims to explore this issue, reflect on its roots, and inspire a return to the simple, compassionate behaviors that can mend the fabric of our communities.
We all begin somewhere. Whether it’s the first day at a new job, the start of a personal project, or learning a new skill/game, everyone experiences the uncertainty and vulnerability of being a beginner. Yet, in today’s society, the patience and understanding that should accompany these experiences are often replaced by judgment and impatience. Social media contributes to this daily, I mean with its lure to share perfection and instant feedback loops, showing how everyone is living the perfect life, right… making it easier to criticize from a distance and harder to empathize up close.
Reflecting on all of my own journeys, and there are a lot of them, it’s clear that no one starts as an expert. I mean let’s think about this… every accomplished individual at least everyone I know, was once a novice, grappling with the basics and making mistakes along the way. I mean we all have to learn to crawl before we walk, learn to talk before we sing, learn to hold the paddle before we hit the ball, lastly, we all have to learn to ask before we get, am I right. The process of growth is inherently messy, sometimes time consuming (sometimes not) and not always an easy straight journey to the finish line. Recognizing this universal truth should cultivate humility and empathy, reminding us to extend the same grace to others that we received—or wished we had received. I mean when did the idea of treat others the way you want to be treated go out the wayside?
Another aspect of the social pandemic is the erosion of neighborly connections. The statement “it takes a village” seems to be losing its meaning in our fast-paced, individualistic world. Neighbors often live side by side for years without truly knowing each other, missing countless opportunities to build supportive, interconnected communities. This lack of connection contributes to a sense of isolation and weakens the social bonds that are crucial for collective well-being. Now mind you it is not like this everywhere and I get that for sure, I mean I personally have great neighbors who even tractor me out from under snow without being asked and I see others helping out without a question.
I guess my biggest question is when did it become acceptable to turn a blind eye to the struggles and efforts of those around us? Perhaps it wasn’t a conscious decision but rather a gradual shift influenced by societal changes. I feel the hustle and bustle of modern life, the relentless pursuit of personal success, and the distractions of digital media have all played a role in diverting our attention from the simple yet profound act of being present for each other.
Now here is the good news and why I felt called to write this… Despite these challenges, there is hope. Small, intentional gestures can make a significant difference in reversing the trends of judgment and disconnection. A smile to a stranger, a phone call to check in on a friend, or an offer to grab coffee and listen can brighten someone’s day and foster a sense of community. These acts remind us of our shared humanity and the power of compassion. And frankly can bring someone that much needed hope, smile or giggle so that they can then share to another and another and another!
Imagine a world where people actively choose to uplift rather than criticize, where neighbors become friends and communities come alive with mutual support. This vision is not unattainable; it begins with each of us making a conscious effort to reconnect and show kindness. It’s about choosing to see the potential in others and offering encouragement rather than skepticism. To be patient when one is putting in the effort to learn a new skill, to come back from their lowest point or to just be understanding that yes “I was there once too”.
Encouraging words, especially when someone is at their most vulnerable, can be transformative. It can be the difference between someone giving up on their dream or persevering through challenges. When we support each other’s endeavors, we not only help individuals grow but also contribute to a more innovative and resilient society.
Moreover, fostering a culture of support and understanding starts with simple actions. Acknowledging someone’s effort, offering a helping hand, or simply being a patient listener can break the cycle of judgment and isolation. It’s these small, everyday interactions that build the foundation for stronger, more connected communities.
The benefits of these gestures extend beyond the immediate moment. They create ripples of positivity that can inspire others to act similarly, gradually transforming the social landscape. When people feel supported and valued, they are more likely to pay it forward, creating a chain reaction of kindness and empathy.
Let me stop and share a personal story. Many years ago, there was a young man in my family’s life who didn’t make the most sensible decisions about his health and those around him. We lost touch for about six years, and frankly, I was relieved. One day, I saw this man in a store. I actively tried to avoid him, but he followed me, probably trying to gather the courage to say something. When he finally did, he said, “I am so sorry I did not call you and thank you.”
I was perplexed. I had not been kind when we disconnected and had no intention of reconciling. Curiously, I asked him what he meant. He said, “Ms. Shugar, if it had not been for you pushing me to see I was not making good decisions and disconnecting from me, I would not be where I am today.” I was stunned. He went on to explain that he eventually realized he needed to become healthier and treat others the way he wanted to be treated. Now, he had a wife, a child, and a job. He beamed with pride as he shared his story and thanked me again.
My response was simple, “Great job, man. I am so proud of you. Keep up the good work.” We went our separate ways, but I often return to this story to remind myself of the difference we make when we listen and love, even when it’s tough. We may never know the full impact of our actions, but they are real, and they matter because we take the time to see the person in front of us.
Encouraging words, especially when someone is at their most vulnerable, can be transformative. It can be the difference between someone giving up on their dream or persevering through challenges. When we support each other’s endeavors, we not only help individuals grow but also contribute to a more innovative and resilient society.
I want to make it clear that this blog is not about assigning blame but rather about recognizing an issue and inspiring change. Our world is filled with good people and the potential for greatness, but we need to return to the basics of human connection and compassion. It’s a call to action for each of us to be the change we wish to see, to be the neighbor who cares, and to be the friend who supports. We don’t have to agree on everything to be understanding. I mean we are all entitled to our own opinions (even if you think yours is the best lol)
Here is my challenge to you, let’s challenge ourselves and each other to make a positive impact. Make someone smile today, pick up the phone and reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, or take a moment to mentor and encourage a beginner. These simple actions can change lives and, collectively, they can change the world.
Let’s embrace the challenge and commit to rebuilding our communities with empathy and kindness. The power to combat this social pandemic lies within each of us. Together, we can create a world where everyone feels valued and supported, where the spirit of “it takes a village” is alive and well. Let’s start today, with a smile, a call, and a renewed commitment to each other.
Peace and Happiness
Wendy
