I have personally never met a perfectionist whose life was “filled” with inner Peace. It seems to me that, peoples need for perfection and the desire for inner Peace compete and collide with each other, consuming everything. A projectionist is set on having something a certain way, maybe even better than it already is, so the losing battle to “fix it” starts because to a perfectionist is anything ever really good enough?
I recently, personally, realized this for myself the 1st time when I went to an art event with some friends and family. To be honest, I was so focused on what was wrong with my art project that I kept needing to fix it, to make it “perfect”, but the reality is, it would never be “Perfect”! So as soon as I let go of insisting it should be perfect, be an exact duplicate of the example at the front of the room, I embraced the fact that it was MY take of the example, MY project in fact became perfect!
So are you asking yourself the question: How do I make Peace with Imperfection?
Start with this concept:
Something Finished is better than something Perfect!
Think about that for a minute. How many things have you started in recent months that are still sitting there, unfinished, because you don’t feel their perfect? Perhaps a blog, a letter, a painting, or maybe just a simple house project. Is it not perfect because of possible typos, minor mistakes or maybe one color slightly off. Well take my advice and finish it, call it complete, I promise you will feel better!. You see the need for Perfection and Inner Peace do not go hand in hand. So, stop focusing on what is wrong and start focusing on what is right … you will find that inner peace and be happy with that very thing you thought would never be perfect!
If you can only focus on say …. a little extra weight on your body (or someone else’s for that matter), an outfit that just does not look right on someone at your office, a piece of paper out of place on your desk or even not liking or agreeing with the way someone else looks or behaves, then you are being taken away from a natural human goal of being HAPPY! You are too focused on what is wrong with things to see the “what is right with the things” around you!
If you allow your creativity to flow and you allow inner peace to happen, you will start to enjoy and appreciate the way things are, already!!!
When you find yourself insisting that something needs to be better… remind yourself how good things are now and you will soon find yourself seeing Perfection in most things you do because you can now choose to create more outcomes, change your outfit, lose some weight and just be Happy … you are not always insisting for something to be perfect or better than it already is!
Oh and, believe it or not, there is inner Peace when it comes to imperfection! Think about that for a minute…
Does a flower have to be just perfect to make you smile when you smell its beautiful scent? Does a forest have to be so perfect that all trees align just right or have no fallen or dead trees or plants around? Nope! Because there are many shapes, sizes and specific parts to each and every flower or forest that make them beautiful just the way they are! Like humans we are we can choose to continue to grow and change, but there is no perfect…
“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
So here are a few steps to help you out of the Perfectionist way of thinking…
1. Remember that failure is only a perception and you should laugh at it! Failure has no say of its own unless you allow it to have a say! Stay in the present and keep going, feel good about the way you do things! Own it!
2. Let it go – stop trying to control everything so it becomes perfect. See things for how they are and embrace them, find the Happiness instead!
3. Choose to be HAPPY – be optimistic and remember you always have choices in life. Choose the optimistic, fun, positive, exciting way of life and leave the negatives behind! Choose your heart over your head, fun, positive emotions come from the heart! Listen to your Heart!
4. Make a new beginning – Life should always be how you choose it to be and you can start over at anytime. All it takes is a decision and a starting point! Remember you can only change the mind of the person you are today not that of the person you are tomorrow. So start NOW. Don’t live for others … live for YOU! Don’t let the thoughts and ideas of others bring you down, they are not creating your happiness … only you can do that for you!
5. Take one step at a time – Don’t get overwhelmed by everything that has to be done. Just start with one thing, anything you choose, and conquer it to completion. Then pick another and then another. It will all get done if you just do one thing at a time to completion! The steps you take are an important part to changing your life! Own the actions you take step by step and you will become a wiser happier You!
However, don’t let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started.
Marilu Henner
Peace, Love and Nature
Wendy
Your local Hiking Hippie, Life Coaching #1 Fan!
